I have been tryng to find the words that define the emptiness I feel. But my emotions translate to tears, sobs, and sobbing tears. I cry and cry and cry at no particular time, for no apparent reason. And, since June 12th when my darling husband passed away, my missing him has not diminished.
My family has been supportive. My friends have been supportive. The friends of my children and grandchildren have all pitched in. And for that I am grateful. The thoughtfulness shown to me by strangers - the clerks at the grocery stores who always saw us when we shopped together; the public servant at the DMV who came out from her desk to give me a hug; a stranger at the synagogue who was celebrating her engagement and rubbed my back convinces me, now, more than ever, that almost everybody in the world is nice and there are just a few bad guys who ruin it for everybody. I feel a little bit like Blanche DuBois who "relied on the kindness of strangers."
I know, as time passes, my my loneliness and emptiness will diminish, but never leave.